Everybody Loves Leprechauns
by Calendai
Summary: Most people have a devil and an angel riding on their shoulders. Tik has leprechauns. R/R
1. Somewhere Past Next Tuesday

**Everybody Loves Leprechauns**

**Chapter 1. : Somewhere Past Next Tuesday**

AN: I realize Pod is the name of the dad is the book "The borrowers", but I didn't remember this until after Pod came to me in the night and demanded to be a character, so..... take it up with him. Anyway, I am going to expect a review for every hit to this story, so flex your fingers while you read, ready to type. No copyright infringement on J.K's stuff is intended, because everything except the plot, Tik, Pod, and Gar is hers. Oh, by the way, Don't flame my timeline, it's always going to be messed up. Subtitle and title credited Verbum.  
  
Tik sighed and trudged along behind the stern witch. A few of his fellow first-years could be heard sniffling behind him. Under normal circumstances he would have been interested in studying his famous new school, as the walls were adorned with many fascinating tapestries and paintings. Instead, something, or rather someone, dampened his mood considerably.  
  
"R'lly, th' should put a centr'l heating system in, 'm freezing my nose off here, laddy!" came a familiar voice. Professor McGonagall, the stern witch, spun around and scanned the group, her eyes searching for the bold child that dared to speak. The whimpering students cowered under her glare, for she was obviously in a foul disposition. Understandable, in this freezing weather. Tik lowered his eyes, hoping he wouldn't be spotted. The real perpetrator let out a tinkling laugh. "Sh's a strict one, that one is. Put a slow on m' tricks, sh' will!" Tik tried to turn his head to look at the speaker, a difficult feat since he was standing on Tik's own shoulder. "Oh, don't worry, m' lad. Sh' can't hear me n' more." Tik just rolled his violet eyes and resumed followed his new teacher. Pod, for that was the talker's name, could make himself heard or not heard, depending on his mood. His comments often got Tik into trouble, and it didn't help that he was only visible to Tik's eye.  
  
Tik had known Pod since he was born, since Pod was his father. Pod was a leprechaun, making Tik half-leprechaun, half-human. And not the kind of leprechaun you can sometimes see around, the kind who has gold that disappears in a few hours, who are shout and stout and wear little green hats. The true leprechauns, the Little Folk, are the real natives of Ireland, and have real gold. In fact, even today, if someone's got quite a bit of money in Ireland, an old gaffer might proclaim, "That's a righ' Leprechaun's stash, th't is," referring to the true leprechauns' legendary fortunes.  
  
Also, true leprechauns really don't look much like the false ones. They are short, yes, about eight inches for a full-grown male, but they are thin, and have green hair, purple eyes, pointed ears, a long, pointed nose, and squarish features. Pod was the perfect example of a true leprechaun, for he had the customary green fringe around his bald spot, startling violet eyes, a square face with a pointed chin, long nose, pointed ears, a mischievous gleam in his eye, and a favorite piece of clothing. He was never seen without his strange red hat, which consisted of a flat brim that circled a pointed tower with a windmill-shaped spin on top that shot sparkles into the air when he played a prank. Tik didn't know where he got it from, and he didn't want to ask.  
  
Anyway, because there is such a large difference between human and leprechaun heights, Tik ended up being four feet, three inches and unlikely to grow more than an inch taller, making him the shortest of the first years, and definitely shorter than everyone else. His pointed nose, squarish (though not as square as Pod's) face, slightly pointed ears, and bright purple eyes set him apart, too. He was thankful he at least had red hair, instead of green. Who knows what the Slytherins would do to a green-haired Gryffindor.  
  
Gryffindor, Tik knew, he was sure to be, because back when Hogwarts first started and for about two hundred years later, true leprechauns actually attended it, and all of his bloodline had been Gryffindors. As leprechauns are immortal unless killed, he still heard stories of Hogwarts pranks by graduates of the British school.  
  
Suddenly, Tik was startled out of his thoughts by a herd of ghosts floating through the wall. McGonagall had already left, and was returning now to usher the children into the Great Hall. As Tik entered, an overwhelming feeling of awe swept through him. The ceiling was amazing; a perfect picture of the sky outside. He was awestruck even after his relatives stories, for until you saw the ceiling itself, you would tell yourself unconsciously that of course it wouldn't _really_ look like the sky, there would be something different, it couldn't be _that_ realistic. Tik shivered, just looking at the freezing moon above his head. He only listened to the sorting song with half and ear, not interested. He probably looked odd, standing there, staring at the ceiling in the middle of the sorting ceremony, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. Until he heard his name, that is.

**"Scruff, Jonathan Tik!"**  
  
"Get a'movin', lad! Don't stand there like a tree, get a'movin'!" Pod yelled cheerfully. Tik winced, then noticed no one had heard. He remembered himself, and walked to the ragged hat perched on a three-legged stool. He sat, pulling the hat down over his ears. As he stared into the blackness of the inside lining, a voice began to speak, and Tik sighed, exasperated. Then he realized it wasn't Pod, but the hat. His ears burned red.  
  
"Well, well, well..... two of you. I'm sorting you, Tik. What's Pod doing here? You're too old Pod!"  
  
A creaky old voice, bursting with laughter, came from Tik's left shoulder, and Tik groaned, recognizing it. "Too old, eh? Well, wh't's too old? Y're no spring chicken y'rself, Pug!" It was Gar, Tik's great-great-great-grandfather. Tik assumed he must have just arrived. Gar was one of those who had gone to Hogwarts in the beginning. Much to Tik's chagrin, he had christened the Sorting Hat 'Pug' in his first year. Remembering this, the Sorting Hat laughed.  
  
"Three of you, now? What am I to do, what am I to do...." 'Pug' laughed again. "Well, Gar's already been sorted and graduated, Pod's too old, so Tik's the only one left, and he's easy..... just remember Tik, _don't anger the Gar._"

**"GRYFFINDOR!"**

As he walked to the cheering Gryffindor table, Tik grinned in spite of himself. 'Don't anger the Gar' was actually one of the laws of the leprechauns. Gar didn't get mad often, but when he did, you didn't want to be on the same world. Atlantis fell when Gar got mad at the age of three days.

AN: That's all for now, sorry it's so short. I'll have the next bit up in a few days. Or maybe I won't, if I don't get reviews!


	2. Ginny Weasley and the Lovesick Leprechau...

Everybody Loves Leprechauns

**Everybody Loves Leprechauns**

**Chapter 2.: Ginny Weasley and a Lovesick Leprechaun, Why Me?, and Girl Troubles**

AN: Three titles. Sheesh. I can't make up my mind. Anyway, sorry for the delay! Me and my procrastination..... it didn't help that my internet was down for a week, either. Anyway, I don't own any of the characters, scenery, or references from or to the original Harry Potter series. Alas, that distinction belongs to J.K. Rowling. I do, however, own Gar, Pod, Tik, the plot, the thick Irish accents, and anything else you don't recognize from the books. Nobody flame, please, it's not worth my time or yours. I blame my vocabulary on reading a minimum or six hours each day, so if you don't understand some of the words I use, tough. (I don't think that will be a problem, though, becuase I assume anyone who reads Harry Potter can't be a _total_ idiot.....) BTW- all schedules I make for class times are based on the assumption that all classes are two hours. Probably wrong, but I hide behind the excuse that we all know all my times/timelines will be messed up.

Tik sat at his new house's table. Or really, he tried to sit, for his chair was a bit too short for him to see over the table very well. Irritated and scowling, he heard Pod sniggering from his left shoulder, and Gar chuckling from the other. Two curious fifth year girls watched him from across the table. His ears burned bright red, for both of the girls were rather pretty. One of them began to giggle, and the other rolled her eyes, laughing silently. Tik mentally hit his head against a metaphorical wall. _Why Me?  
_  
Obviously enjoying his descendant's pain, Gar let out a last, wheezy chuckle. Finally, he spoke. "D'n't worry y'r he'd about th' girls yet, Tik. Plenty o' time f'r th't when y'r older. B't let's not emb'rrass y', eith'r. 't's time f'r me to leave, lad, b't here's a sortin' pr'sent f'r y'." Abruptly, Tik's chair grew taller, so he could look over the table like anyone else. Gar winked out of sight, presumably off on some mad-cap adventure. Tik sighed, relieved, and stole a peek at the girls across the table, who were now chatting happily with some boys of _ normal_ stature, having forgotten about the poor, short, first year across from them.  
  
Tik reached for one of the many golden plates heaped with food, suddenly famished, but was interrupted. "Gar's r'ght, m' lad. D'n't worry about th' girls yet, Tik. G't in th' way o' pranks, 't will. Though I do like th' look o' th't one, th're." Pod gestured to a red-head, older than Tik, probably a forth or fifth year. "Sh' 's got an Irish look about her, th't one does." Tik glanced at the girl in question, and had to blink twice.  
  
Her skin was creamy white, lightly sprinkled with freckles. Her blue eyes twinkled merrily as she laughed at something a couple of older boys, her brothers by the look of it, were telling her. Her flaming hair was curled, tucked behind her ears. Her white teeth flashed as she grinned at someone Tik distractedly identified as Harry Potter. Tik heart melted into quivering gob of unidentifiable red gooey substance. Pod just grinned to himself.  
  
Tik never could remember what that feast tasted like, who talked to him, what he said, or what anybody but _Her _looked like. As he lay in bed that night, the only thing he remembered was a single girl. He fell asleep listening to Pod chuckle merrily.

Waking the next morning, Tik panicked, something he had never been known to do before. Even the unshakable Pod, perched on the wardrobe, was disturbed by his son's behavior. As Tik rushed around the room chattering to himself about what he would do or say at breakfast, wondering if any of the years shared classes, hoping the years shared classes, Pod yelled out, "Lad, lad, calm y'rself! 'T's a good thing y'r a late sleeper, o' y'r roomm'tes'd think y' were mad! Stop it!" Abashed, Tik sat on his bed, disheveled red hair making him look like his head was a fire. "F'rst things f'rst. Now, 're y' sure y' didn' swallow n'thing funny at the feast las' nigh'?" Tik shook his head yes. "Didn' smell any fumes, nor see any magic?" Receiving a positive to both, Pod began grinning again. "I guess I've g't a true case o' loves'ck leprechaun on m' hands." He looked back at Tik, who was now laying back on his bed, staring dreamily at the ceiling, drooling. Pod chuckled. "Yep."  
  
Tik blinked, breaking out of his reverie and looking at the clock. "I'm late!" he cried, his voice showing only a trace of Irish accent, unlike Pod's. "I have to be at breakfast! _She_'ll be there!" Tik then set a new world record for dressing in bulky wizarding robes and running through the halls of Hogwarts to the Great Hall. Pod barely caught a-hold of him before Tik got away.  
  
Standing outside the monstrous doors, Tik took a deep breath and held it. Steeling himself, he pushed open the doors and walked in. Almost the entire school was already there, chatting and eating their meal. The students were inspecting their course schedules, some cheering or groaning, depending on their class assignments. If looks could kill, the Slytherins and the Gryffindors would all be slowly dying of painful, flesh-eating diseases while dozens of rabid hippogriffs ripped off arms and legs, keeping all the vital organs intact. Tik assumed they had been placed in potions together again, a traditional assignment that went back to the opening of the school. He slowly walked to his table and sat, pleased to find that the chair automatically rose the the right height. He inwardly thanked Gar, and checked his own course schedule.

**Johnathan Tik Scruff 1st year Gryffindor**  
  
** Monday**  
~Potions 9:00 AM  
~Transfiguration 11:15 AM  
~Charms2:30 PM  
** Tuesday**  
~History of Magic 9:00 AM  
~Herbology11:15 AM  
** Wednesday**  
~History of Magic 9:00 AM  
~Transfiguration11:15 AM  
~Defense Against the Dark Arts 2:30 PM  
** Thursday**  
~Potions9:00 AM  
~Herbology11:15 AM  
~Defense Against the Dark Arts 2:30 PM  
** Friday**  
~Potions9:00 AM  
~Transfiguration11:15 AM  
~Charms2:30 PM  
~Astronomy11:00 PM  
  
** Notes:**  
Herbology taken with Ravenclaw 1st years.  
Potions and Transfiguration taken with Slytherin 1st years.  
Astronomy taken with Hufflepuff 1st years.

Tik sighed, noticing the lack of cross-year classes. He set down his schedule and began filling his breakfast plate. Pod sniggered softly into his sleeve, and his hat began to shoot off sparks. Tik, deep in his own thoughts, didn't notice, or he would never have stayed in the great hall. He knew what was going on when the hat went off. After a moment, however, the hat stopped, and Pod grinned. Suddenly, Tik's head snapped up and he began to recite at the top of his voice.

"Her hair is as red as a bonfire,  
Her teeth, pearly-white, how they shine!  
Her eyes carry me  
O'er a cerulean sea,  
How I wish this sweet girl would be mine."  
  
Dead silence filled the room. Then, the two red-headed twins began howling with laughter, the rest of the school joining in. Tik, mortified, began to slide down in his seat. He saw the object of his affection with her head in her arms on the table, shaking with silent laughter or tears; which one, Tik couldn't tell. Her brothers kept poking her, sniggering. Tik sank farther and farther in his seat, covering his face with his hands.

_WHY ME?_

AN: I know I promised this would be longer, but I'm sorry. I just had to cut it off here. I'll have the next piece up within a week, hopefully longer than this one. BTW- Am I evil, or what? :) And I have a question for all of you reviewers.... I am an author on this website, under a different name. Who am I? Verbum, SpamWarrior, don't answer that.


End file.
